Thoughts and Prayers

I’ve struggled with the best way to say this. Thoughts and prayers are not a diminutive statement from a Christian. Prayer is the most powerful tool for a Christian, filled with hope. Prayer for healing, prayer for understanding, prayer for peace, prayer for resolution. It is literally invoking God to help humanity deal with a situation. It is not a casual statement of weak acknowledgement and is not an intention to do nothing. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I understand how non Christians may think otherwise, thus I felt compelled to make this statement. It’s a beginning, to invoke the God of Abraham and Moses to help us fight and win battles against evil, to find a way to solutions in time.


As for “thoughts”, I can’t speak for all Christians, but for me it’s a nod of respect to those who don’t share my belief. If you don’t believe in the power of prayer, I want you to know I’m not excluding you.

In both cases, “thoughts and prayers” are the beginning, not the ending, and a foundation to fight evil. It starts there but never ends there. To be anything else is lazy. Anyway, I hope this helps, because I’ve seen too much of “thoughts and prayers” twisted into some position statement that simply isn’t true.

Additionally, we are divided, and taking sides and screaming talking points does nothing to solve problems. What does help solve problems is understanding all. My hope is this little rant helps you understand the Christian perspective. And to my brothers and sisters in Christ, if I have in any way erred in theology please call me out; I always want to know if I’ve made mistakes. Peace to all.

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Coincidence or God?

Last week, as I do several times during the week, I left the office to get in a mid-afternoon workout at a local gym. I keep regular routines, with little variance. Some may think that could be boring, but it is what works for me. For example, my sleeping hours generally are 9:00 PM – 4:30 AM, and anything outside of that can make me irritable – the further from the norm, the crankier I get.

But little things I often do differently. On this trip, I had the sudden urge to call my wife. While I will often call her during the day, I never call her with driving to the gym, usually because I’m still processing work-related items while trying to get myself in the mode for the day’s programming from my coach. I hit the call button on the steering wheel.

“Hello?” I could tell from background traffic she wasn’t in the office. Plus, she sounded preoccupied. Maybe she had a late lunch that I forgot about?

“Hey, just calling to say hi.”

A pause, and then what no husband wants to hear.

“I need help!” She was starting to cry.

Everything stopped in that moment. Thoughts of work and programming exited my brain. “What happened?”

“I’m sick. I’m on the side of the road.”

“Where are you?” A gas station provided the easiest path to turn around.

“I just left work. I can’t drive home!”

As men do in these situations, I shifted into problem-solving mode. “Can you drive back to work?”

“I think so.”

“Okay, do that, that’s the safest thing to do. I’ll be there soon.”

I didn’t really know that, but my brain was scrambled and there was nothing I could do to help until I got to her office. At the very least, whatever her condition, she’d be around people who could help her if needed before I arrived (I was about 20 minutes away).

Funny that when you’re in a rush it often seems you end up behind every slow vehicle and hit every red light. But once I hit the interstate I flew. I may or may not have exceeded a couple traffic laws, and perhaps a law of physics.

When I arrived she was still in her vehicle in the parking lot, violently vomiting. A coworker was with her until I arrived. She couldn’t speak initially, but he told me she had said it came on suddenly. The early conclusion – food poisoning.

I took her into her office and stayed with her as her body continued to purge whatever had triggered the sickness. We hoped that eventually she would be able to drive, but after two hours she decided to go home with me, and we planned to pick up her car the next morning, if she was able.

As food poisoning cases usually go, she eventually stopped vomiting and was able to sleep. While weak the next day, she otherwise had recovered for the most part.

But none of that is the story I wanted to share, only necessary context information.

As I said before, I never call her on the way to the gym, but I had a sudden, strong urge to reach out to her. We realized that at the exact same moment she was calling out to God for help.

Coincidence? Or did God tap me on the shoulder and prompt me to call her, so I could help her, in response to her prayer?

I know what I believe.

Following God’s Command

Earlier this year I announced the launch of the Weekly Bible Wrap Up podcast, where I go over the previous week’s Bible readings following a one-year Bible reading plan. I wasn’t sure of my “why” for doing it, only that I got the message that God wanted me to do it. When God asks, the best response is “Yes”!

I had no expectations, only to follow what I was commanded to do. Thus, every week, usually on time but occasionally a day (or as in this week, three days) late, I basically read my notes from the readings. I am sure I miss the mark sometimes, and sometimes I am lost to the meaning of some verses. Reading King James doesn’t help the matter either. But I plug on. Here are a few lessons I have learned along the way:

  1. This is an exercise in faithfulness.
  2. Because of number 1, listener count is not a goal.
  3. However, for each listener I feel a sense of responsibility to continue.
  4. I have felt like quitting many times, but see numbers 1 and 3.
  5. Using Anchor by Spotify and my phone makes production easy.
  6. I have become a more intentional Bible reader.
  7. Because of number 6, I understand the Bible more.

Today I also had an epiphany. As I stated on the episode I recorded a few hours ago, I occasionally revisit my pain from my failed first marriage. Even though that happened 30 years ago, the pain never fades; I just learn to deal with it by submerging it in my being. But somewhat like the Vulcans and the imbalance caused by Ponn-Far, it seems that I periodically need to revisit that pain intensely to purge it. It reminds me of a saying from my college years – “you need to go crazy some of the time, otherwise you’ll go crazy all of the time”. Last night I intentionally revisited that pain, though I didn’t know why, only that I have the feeing that God leads me to a message or revelation when this happens.

I found the why this morning. I had to catch up on two days of readings before recording, which meant beginning Hosea. There I was reminded of the premise of God comparing His relationship with Israel to Hosea’s with his unfaithful wife Gomer, and therefore the reason last night of revisiting my pain. By doing so, I more acutely understood, even felt God’s pain with Israel’s unfaithfulness through Hosea.

Experiences like that continue to teach me to seek and follow God’s plan for me, not just long term but this day, this hour, and this minute. I hope you too constantly look for God’s plan for your life, and don’t save those thoughts only for Sunday.

Announcing the Weekly Bible Wrap Up Podcast

In my last post, I mentioned how podcasting is another form of indie publishing. That was a prelude to a calling that at that time I was just beginning to understand, and have since developed into a final product called The Weekly Bible Wrap Up at https://anchor.fm/weekly-bible-wrap-up.

I’ll start with context because I think it’s important with any story, interpretation, or opinion. Because this podcast is not just about summarizing the Bible, I think it’s important to have context behind that to try to understand the intent and the communication and the message of the person delivering that and that goes to when reading the Bible – understand the context when it was written.

I grew up Catholic, but non practicing, in that we didn’t go to church regularly. It was only when I was about 16 that I reached out to the Catholic Church to learn more, as a young adult on my own. My first Communion and my confirmation were later than those going through the faith I went through that as a young adult, and some might argue that that actually makes it more impactful because you’re making a decision as an adult.

As a practicing Catholic and was pretty good about maintaining attendance with church, but really didn’t connect well with the whole environment. I felt like I was doing something as an obligation, like I had to go to church because I wanted to get to heaven. That was the only reason why I was doing any of that. It’s like “Well, here I am, putting in my time so that when I die you can see the attendance sheet and yay Greg, you can go through, that’s great.

Not exactly the most fulfilling way to look at the entire Bible and the faith.

I drifted away from the Catholic Church. But through a rather spontaneous or perhaps planned (I don’t believe anything is a coincidence) circumstance, I was invited to attend an interdenominational church in Murfreesboro, TN called World Outreach Church, and this was about 13 or 14 years ago.

Now you must understand a little bit more about context too. I grew up in the north, New York. I was a Yankee obviously, moved down to the South about almost 30 years ago and have claimed Tennessee as my home. I love it in Tennessee. It’s just been very fulfilling for me here. There’s a whole host of reasons why I really feel that I’ve reached my own personal promised land.

And in the south, they call it the Bible Belt and there’s reasons for that, you know? In some cases, there are large, very large churches and World Outreach being one of them. I accepted the invitation and went, but in the beginning, I didn’t see it as “real” church.

I saw it more as like a Christian Community Center type thing gathering. I didn’t get the holding of hands in the air. I didn’t get any of that. But it was nice, and the people seemed nice, and so I stayed.

And I did resonate with the first sermon that I ever heard from Pastor Alan Jackson. In fact, my friend introduced me to him right after that first service and I told Pastor Allen him that I was floored by his message. If you’ve heard Pastor Jackson speak, you know he has an excellent and sometimes self-deprecating sense of humor and I think his response was somewhere along the lines of, “Well, sometimes when I preach people end up on the floor.” In other words, he puts them to sleep. That was my introduction to him personally.

I started to attend world outreach more and more and then around this time is when I met my wife. Before we got married her and I started to attend together. We were regular in our attendance off and on, off and on, and became slowly over time more on than off and something was happening within us. Several years ago, I think about six years ago we joined the choir and that certainly opened up more about the church.

What was happening to me was that I was understanding and growing in this concept of a personal relationship with Christ. I always thought that that was sort of like marketing mumbo jumbo from the extreme evangelicals. But it really, really resonated with me.

Every year the church does a weekly well daily rather Bible reading. The idea is that if you read the Bible for 10 or 15 minutes a day, you will get through. And I use those words on purpose because I’ll explain why I said that in just a moment you will get through the Bible within a year. I thought, well, I’ve never read the entire Bible. I probably should if I really want to get a better understanding about what it is that I believe. Plus, Pastor Jackson had kind of implanted in my mind that you can’t really understand the New Testament without really understanding the Old Testament. That makes sense, and makes more sense as you read the Bible.

I began listening on my commute. I would commute one day to a remote office about little more than two hours one way, and that would be my day that I would catch up on the Bible. During the commute, I would listen to a podcast called the Daily Audio Bible and it was my introduction into the regularity of the Bible. I was trying to catch up on all the daily readings for the week in one day. With all the Bible readings, because I’m a type A personality, I wanted to make sure I was staying on schedule, because I wanted to get through the Bible.

There’s a problem with those words – get through. It signifies an obligation, really, nothing different than what ended up turning me off from the Catholic Church.

But God was working through me, and after two years or three years of passively listening to the Bible, whether it be driving or then I got into a better habit of doing it daily. Sometimes I still had to catch up, but I would listen while I was working out. It was still in the list of priorities, a background thing, but at least it was on my list of priorities of things I was doing.

I think I’m into my 4th year now of reading (not listening to) the Bible. The first year I did it, it was the same methodology. I would read one day, and then I’d skip a few days and then I’d be like, “Oh gosh, I have to catch up and I go through it really fast and then yay, I could check that off and move on.”

At the beginning of the pandemic, I became a lot more intentional about this. I made two changes. First, every morning, first thing in the morning, I would read my Bible. I wouldn’t put it in some other place on my schedule whenever I had a chance to do it. I would make that the priority.

The second change is I began to write notes about it. Now sometimes I’d write down verses. Sometimes I write down feelings or opinions, or where I’ve seen things in relation to today’s modern culture. That was all just for me. It took two years, but I filled a 200-page composition book with daily notes. It helped me to focus on being more intentional when I was reading the Bible. I was reading and trying to absorb it.

Then I changed the translation. I don’t remember the first couple of iterations NIV was one of them. Maybe I read NIV twice in a row and then switched to Living Bible, which was a much easier read. After that I thought, well, I probably should go in the exact opposite direction and read King James. Old English that makes it for a very difficult reading, but I bought the Holman King James Version Study Bible. They do a wonderful job of explaining not only what some of the English means, but also what some of the Bible means, like what are they getting at here? Why are they doing this?

There’s so many elements in the Bible, so many rules. In Leviticus, for example, that when you’re reading Leviticus, talk about having to get through something, it seems like! It is a difficult read, but there is a reason, a structure, that makes perfect sense as to why these sacrifices were done as they were, given the context of when it was written.

During these years, in my day job in information security, I had started a few years ago a YouTube series called The Virtual CISO Moment (CISO stands for Chief Information Security Officer). The series began as a marketing strategy to try to get folks interested in the services we offer. Then that video series slowly. developed into more of an effort of giving back. I have more than 30 years of knowledge and experience in this field to share.

This year I put it up on Spotify and other platforms through a unique opportunity that came my way. Spotify was looking for amateur video content creators like me, those who have already demonstrated that they’ve done videos in the past that they wanted us to be the first wave of their new expanded video and audio podcast creation platform called Anchor.

The Virtual CISO Moment was accepted, and that accelerated my growth into the podcast space this year.

All of this was coming together for context as to why I’m doing this podcast. There are a few elements that have converged. First, I have learned and grown in reading and understanding the Bible, particularly through the intentionality of reading every morning and writing about it.

Second, I’ve learned about how to create a podcast efficiently. One of the first rules of podcasting I would say (I didn’t read this anywhere but may be common advice) is to be consistent about it, so I do this every week. That’s why a new episode drops every Sunday at 6 PM Central (US).

Third, I’ve gotten proficient at speaking into this big foam-covered microphone on a regular basis. I record three episodes per week of The Virtual CISO Moment. I don’t have microphone fear anymore.

I started to get the God-nudging beginning of May. “Hey, Greg. I think I want you to do something else.” That’s how I started in what I’m doing in my career now; five years ago, it was a God nudge, and you can learn more about that if you to the other podcast (first episode titled Genesis).

Here it was, another God message, the shoulder tap, a little whisper in the ear. “I’ve given you these talents. I’d like you to bring them together, for my purpose.”

And thus, The Weekly Bible Wrap Up was born. I don’t know how many people are going to listen to this, but if just one person listens, it’s worth it. I hope more will. I hope that this becomes for some people a vehicle to help bridge from that “I’ve got to get through the Bible” to “I’m living the Bible and I’m living the relationship.”

The one thing that I, nor any podcast, or preacher, or anybody (not even God) can give is the desire to begin. The desire comes from faith. You must believe, when reading the Bible, first and foremost that there is a God who created the universe and loves us.

If you go to the Bible looking immediately right out the gate for proof, chances are you won’t find it, because you’re reading it with the eye of its skeptic. But if you read it as a believer in God, it is amazing how it opens understanding.

I now look forward to reading my Bible every morning, it’s not something I have to get through because it seems like every day I gain more insight, I learn something new. I’m excited about it! I’m excited about this path that God has put me on. I hope it helps you.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. I’m certainly open to any feedback. I hope this podcast becomes a real blessing to you.

Post based on the transcript of the introductory episode of The Weekly Bible Wrap Up.

Podcasting – Another Form of Indie Publishing

I’d like to say that recently I have started podcasting, but that’s not exactly true.

I started an online video blog, in 2019, short vignettes (is that repetitive?) discussing information security issues for small and midsized businesses. The motive was purely entrepreneurial; I was less than two years into my experience as owner and principal of vCISO Services, LLC, and I was learning marketing skills.

I tried many approaches to marketing; some stuck, some didn’t. One example of the latter was cold-calling. After a few tries, I realized that I was not made for that.

Greg Schaffer, host of the Virtual CISO Moment

Neither was excessive social media interaction. In the writing world, one’s platform is considered important for landing that elusive publishing deal, so often people will intentionally follow thousands with the expectation they will follow back. That’s a great way to create an echo chamber, but the effectiveness to return ratio, to me, seems very low.

Yet video I enjoyed. Each video vignette has several views, some measured in the dozens, some on the (low) hundreds. I have zero metrics to show how effective they are in marketing, though I have had people approach me at conferences stating they enjoyed my product, so maybe it helped with word of mouth. I continued until losing steam during the COVID pandemic.

At the beginning of this year, I found myself reviewing some of the videos, and realizing that I had lost the urge to create them from a marketing standpoint, but I enjoyed sharing knowledge for small and midsized businesses. With the opportunity for Spotify to host, as I had a decent library of content, I decided to start the series up again with a short clip and a new mission: no frills, no glamour, no transparent whiteboard text, no complex graphics, and no script – just a few minutes every Tuesday discussing SMB information security risk issues. And no focus on marketing.

I also realized that limiting the videos to just me was, well, limiting. I have the privilege and honor to know hundreds in the information security and risk management fields, each who has knowledge and experience different and often beyond my own. I needed to add guests, and let them do the talking.

The first episode with a guest dropped March 1. The experience proved to be more informative and fun than I had anticipated, and I therefore contacted several more colleagues to join me. Most enthusiastically agreed, to the point in short order I found the weekly podcast booked through the end of May.

I’m excited about this new arena. Podcasting is another form of publishing, just a different media. Just as indie should strive for professionalism in their works, so I am pushing myself to bring professionalism to each 15-25 minute episode while expanding and enhancing my skill set. Check out the Virtual CISO Moment and let me know how I’m doing!

Anniversaries

I’ve mentioned before that my writing activities have taken a back seat to my business as my day job continues to demand more time. Eventually I will return to fiction writing and more frequent blogging; that is my retirement career. For now, I near the fourth anniversary of creating vCISO Services, LLC (July 23, 2017). The business has exceeded my expectations.

But this post isn’t about the business, it’s on anniversaries. I have a “thing” about anniversaries.

For the most part, I recognize significant anniversaries with either pleasure or sadness. I gave an example of the former above, and one that gives many sadness is 9/11. I’d say I approach anniversaries similar to all, with one exception – wedding anniversaries.

I must emphasize this is my issue, my quirkiness, and my story. I’m not looking for fix suggestions or sympathy or disagreement. Unlike most, I don’t always externally recognize other’s wedding anniversaries; I never send cards. I’ve tried to explain why to some people, but I feel like I get a “deer in the headlights” reaction. For some reason, while relaxing in the sauna this morning and reflecting on nearly four years of vCISO Services, my mind wandered on this topic, taking hold all day (it’s late afternoon as I type this) to where the best way to shake it was to write about it.

Writing has been a way for me to cope with issues for many years. My first* novel began as a fantasy exercise of what if things had worked out differently in my first failed marriage, if only I could go back in time and reverse whatever happened. Eventually that morphed into something quite different, and while not many have read it, I received positive feedback from many who did. I of course include this paragraph because this is a writer’s blog, and I’d like to include some mention of writing in each post (though I don’t always hit that mark).

Don’t get me wrong, I love celebrating my wedding anniversary. My wife and I will celebrate twelve wonderful years together next month. But receiving well-wishes from others for this wedding anniversary reminds me of my two previous marriages that I did not want to end. For during those relationships, there were happy congratulations of anniversaries; cards galore, and smiles and well-wishes from people that I lost contact with a long time ago.

Divorce is terrible. No one enters into marriage with divorce as the end game except for those with purely selfish motives (which does not apply to either of my failed marriages). Divorces create divisions. Families pick sides. And all of those who had congratulated us on another year suddenly separated to their own benches, assuming tribal behavior that prohibited all contact with the other side. That hurt me, more than I can express in words – people I genuinely loved, suddenly ripped away.

Why does it have to be that way? I understand some of the reasons; it’s difficult to maintain relationships like that, and the first responsibility is to your own family. But it doesn’t make the hurt any less intensive, at least not for me, years later. As illogical as it sounds, sometimes an external “happy anniversary” takes me back to those ripped relationships, even though there is no connection whatsoever. I feel the pain again, sometimes almost as intense as if it had happened just recently.

Because of this, I don’t send out anniversary cards either. I prefer to let the couple celebrate in private; it is their time, after all. I think one reason why I wanted to write this is to explain that – it’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I literally feel, to one degree or another, the pain of those ripped relationships caused by divorce. Those two dates that people used to send cards come and go every year, and not one has passed when I don’t feel some measure of the same pain of relationships that were family lost, never to be resurrected.

Like I said above, this is my issue, my problem to deal with. I want to close by emphasizing that I do appreciate those who reach out and wish us a happy anniversary. Perhaps with time and more well-wishes, the pain will subside more, but there will always be a hole in my heart for those who, a long, long time ago, held a special place in my life. I hope this explains what I mean when I say I have a “thing” about anniversaries.

*Technically second novel. I wrote a novel in high school that never progressed past the torn spiral notebook first draft stage. It sits somewhere in my basement.

The Social Media Trap

I haven’t blogged much since before COVID began; I’ve been heads down into my business during the pandemic. I’ve also continued to be heads down into social media, literally. I think that part of my self-diagnosed Thoracic Outlet Syndrome is related to the smartphone posture – you know what I mean.

As the United States’ presidential election heated up last fall and tensions continued to increase on all sides post-election, the toxicity of social media shined brightly in its ugly evilness. I’ll be quite honest and get to the point – I saw sides of a few people that I wish I had never seen. I thought about giving examples here, but I still care for those people I’ve had to let go on social media. While my perception of them has changed, maybe permanently, the underlying aspects that created our friendships are still there, I like to think.

I used to think that social media isn’t evil, that it’s like any other tool, and how the tool is used determines its goodness or evilness. But I’m not so sure. Social media is designed to fuel negative feelings more than positive feelings – there are several studies available that I’ll leave the reader to search for and consume as they wish, or not. The instant gratification and chemical effects are classic fuels for addiction, and any addiction is evil, in my opinion.

Social media’s dopamine hits of getting “likes” or validating opinions by insisting being on the right side of the argument depresses the ability, or desire, or some other aspect to actually engage in useful debate. They post things publicly that they would never say in a crowded bar. That’s essentially what social media is, a public platform where even if you’re posting a response to me, you’re shouting so loud that a room of hundreds can hear. How embarrassing is that to my other contacts, that here I am talking with someone who is so blatantly opinionated and, well, rude? Would you ever want to hang out with that person in a bar again? I wouldn’t.

That’s not to say that all are like that; actually it’s only a small percentage, from my experience. Most scroll on by; they may agree or disagree but choose not to engage in what could get them “slammed” – after all, they’ve seen the few but powerful, unreasonable responses on my wall and want to avoid being the next target for simply expressing their opinion. Trust me, I get that; I hold off often responding on others’ walls for the same reason, having seen the unreasonable hate that some of their contacts have generated.

I know what you’re thinking – why not just create groups and post to limited people accordingly? I’ve done that over ten years; it’s tough to manage and sometimes just doesn’t work. The most effective method to maintaining sanity, decorum, and respect is to defriend or, in extreme cases, block. I say most extreme because I had a “defriend” harass me on a mutual friend’s wall, and blocking was the only option to ensure that I would not be subjected to that cyber bullying again.

But defriending doesn’t mean I don’t still care for or have affection for those who no longer have the privilege in participating on my wall. My views of them inherently have not been shattered, except for the blocked harasser – I can never have a relationship with him again. There’s just no common ground there to connect, from what I can see.

But social media can be good as well, if used and managed properly. Some of that management is taking a break occasionally. I have deactivated my Facebook account for a week, after which it will automatically come back to life. At the end of that week trial, I will see how I feel. I may extend the deactivation, or I may go back to as I was before, or I may further manage my use. I don’t know.

I am convinced that social media use is a real problem. Look at how it perpetuates conspiracy theories. That’s not a political statement; while it’s in style to apply it to far-right extremists at the moment, there have been and will continue to be far-left conspiracy theories perpetrated by their extreme base as well. There are reasonable people who truly believe these extreme things because of social media. One can simply look at the events of 2020 and early 2021 to see that.

Why will the social media trap continue to ensnare some? Because tribal mentality, coupled with dopamine hits, form a powerful addiction. So long as it feels good to themselves, they will continue, without regard or even awareness of what overall effects their words have. To them, all that matters is they are right, and that satisfying feeling of crafting the perfect rebuttal post.

Photo by dole777 on Unsplash

The Daily Dog (or My Answer to my Facebook Conundrum)

Earlier I wrote about how Facebook has impacted me negatively. With the polarization of opinions on COVID, politics, rioting, and so on, I had to quit altogether for a short period of time.

underdog-2020-05-18_22-43-41I returned by rebooting, and my choices of profile picture and background reflected such. First, both were a Windows Blue Screen of Death (the classic Windows 95 type because I’m old school). I followed that with a random computer code background pic and HAL-9000 as my profile (as of today HAL is still my profile photo – something about that red camera just intrigues me).

My reboot completed, I had already decided what the next step was. All of my posts for the foreseeable future would be of dogs. I selected one each day from Unsplash, and always made sure to give props to the photographer, though not required. Named The Daily Dog, there were many ideas behind the series. It is a protest against polarizing posts. Just about everyone loves dogs (and I don’t know how much I can trust someone who doesn’t). This would hopefully eliminate hurtful comments. Plus, in the English language Dog is God backwards, sort of like a mirror reflection – and I think that a dog’s unconditional love is a reflection of Jesus’ love.

The Daily Dog morphed from Unsplash dogs to occasionally photos of mine and also to fictional canines. Live action examples included Toto from the Wizard of Oz and Muffit from the original (and best) Battlestar Galactica. Cartoon versions have included Underdog and Scooby Doo. I would like to keep The Daily Dog going until Election Day if I can find enough dogs (I am taking Sundays off). No, division won’t end then but at least with the presidential election in the rear view mirror maybe polarizing posts would diminish.

But what about sharing views about topics I want to discuss, something that I feel I have a right to do without bullying or harassment? I value friends’ respectful opinions and insights, especially in these times, but I refuse to further subject myself and my other Facebook friends to  hateful, argumentative, sarcastic comments. My solution? I have returned to posting current event topics but those who previously had a habit of leaving snarky comments have lost the privilege of participating, as I now use a group for most current event posts that excludes them. That’s too bad, as I would have valued rational exchange, but the thought of hateful responses is too much for me, honestly.

I’d say this approach has so far worked quite well and has preserved my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, while securing my need to discuss such on Facebook, especially since in-person gatherings are still limited. But I guess anything can happen. I don’t want to permanently block anyone on Facebook (I’ve had to do that only once), but to preserve my right of free speech and to pursue happiness, that may be necessary. Only time will tell.

Featured Photo by Hannah Lim on Unsplash

 

Iraq Invaded Kuwait 30 Years Ago Today

Thirty years ago today, Iraq invaded Kuwait. Today there is an initiative to build a memorial to commemorate and honor those who, as members of the Armed Forces, served on active duty in support of Operation Desert Storm or Operation Desert Shield. I was on beach in Florida that day in 1990 on a weekend Air Force trip when I heard of the invasion. I had no idea then how much that snippet of information would affect my life.

Logo+on+black+lo+resIn the summer of 1990, I was a newly married 23-year-old, preparing for what would be my fourth year of a five-year aerospace/mechanical engineering curriculum at the University at Buffalo. I had enlisted in the US Air Force Reserve the year before. My career goal was to fly planes. I’d get experience around aircraft as a C-130 cargo plan mechanic, then move to a pilot position flying something (I wasn’t sure what) once I had my undergraduate degree.

The reserve seemed like a great safe path to that experience, all while earning great money for part-time work. I volunteered for as many weekend trips as I could, as they paid well and were informative and fun. If there ever was a war, which I was sure there wouldn’t be because the Soviet Union had crumbled, we may be activated to fill in for the full timers that would go overseas to fight. But there wouldn’t be a war.

Wrong.

When the situation escalated to where we were sending troops overseas, slowly I realized that our unit could be activated, likely for stateside service. I wouldn’t be pleased about the inconvenience of putting off my college degree. I was eager to start being a full-time breadwinner. But if duty called, I’d respond.

Early in my college career, prior to joining the reserves, I had a conversation with a friend. He said that if there ever was a war that brought back the draft, he’d go to Canada. I couldn’t agree. I felt back then, as I do today, that so many of the blessings in my life were a direct result of the freedoms we have, fought for by many, some who paid the ultimate price. If my turn came, I’d go and pay my dues, I said with the confidence that it would never happen.

It did.

The message on the answering machine that late September day in 1990 was short and simple: I had a few days to report for duty for overseas assignment. Tears welled up in my wife’s eyes, and she asked, “What does it mean?” I didn’t have an answer, but I tried to be the rock I thought I had to be. “I guess I’ll be going on a three-month vacation to the land of the sand,” I said.

The truth is, I didn’t have to go. I could have pushed for a deferment because of my college status, as a few in our unit did. I never seriously considered that. I had made a commitment, and I would honor it.

That would become one of, if not the strongest defining moment in my life.

Desert Shield, and then Desert Storm, permanently shaped my life path and my perspectives. Some changes were good, some not-so-good. That’s life. Our characters are tested daily. I’d like to think that I have been more true to my character with every test partially because of my decision to not defer.

When we returned home from Desert Storm, it was flags and yellow ribbons everywhere. Americans were united. The mood of the country was good, and the ghosts of Vietnam had finally largely been put to rest (though some will always remain). That was the United States that encouraged me to serve.

Things are a lot different today.

I don’t know how it happened, though I, like everybody, have theories. I don’t have to tell anyone who was an adult then that we are more divided now than in 1991, or maybe in almost any time on our country’s history. If you don’t agree with the other side, your thoughts, positions, morality, and even standing of a human being are often questioned, if not completely berated. How did we come to this place?

I have experienced this firsthand, especially on Facebook (see my last blog post). I feel that I have lost my right to express my opinion. This is a topic for another post, another day. People are openly posting statements that are so blatantly full of hate. The worst part? I doubt that many, if not most can even see the hate. They take the worst possible aspect of the side they don’t like (you name the issue – politics, COVID, etc.) and automatically assume that if you don’t agree with them, you are the worst of the other side. And if that doesn’t work, the fallback is “if you’re silent, you’re complacent.”No middle ground, no consideration of discussion.

The United States of 1990 was one of differences, yes, but also one of compromise. We have lost much of the ability to discuss issues in a civil manner. Just open any news site. This is a very dangerous situation. Without discussion, divisions will widen. Our republic’s continuing existence isn’t guaranteed. It must be constantly attended to.

I haven’t lost all hope. If I were called back to defend the United States, I would serve, in whatever capacity I could. I love this country. I bleed red, white, and blue. But it won’t happen without fundamental changes in everyone’s hearts. And I believe that won’t happen without prayer. Lots of it. Honest, fervent, passionate.

God bless the USA.

The National Desert Storm and Desert Shield Memorial is a new national monument that has been approved by Congress and President Trump (March 2017) to be built by 2021 on the National Mall in Washington, DC. Visit http://www.ndswm.org/ for more information. Image from http://www.ndswm.org/

The Facebook Conundrum

I’m in the middle of a reboot of how I use Facebook, brought on by increasing frustration at the polarization of discussions. First, the problem, then the solution, I think, at least for me.

A bit of background. I have been a Facebook consumer and contributor for over ten years. I enjoyed the aspect of connecting with friends and coworkers and, later family (I was the first adopter for several years I believe in my family) and friends from years’ past. The latter was especially cool, connecting with people that I haven’t spoke to in years. Though my dad wasn’t enthusiastic about the idea at all, as he remarked “if I haven’t talked with them for so long, why would I want to start now?”

But the journey was blissful for the most part, as I enjoyed posts from people representing all phases of my life. Later, I followed various news organizations. Facebook became a primary news source for me in this internet age. Who watched the six-o’clock news anymore, anyway?

Then something odd happened, and not just for me, but for seemingly everyone. It must have been during one of the big elections, probably 2012, as by then Facebook had established its grip on Americana. People love to talk politics, but usually that’s reserved for bars and water coolers, not Thanksgiving or other family gatherings. Why? Because people can be very passionate about politics. But look out, now here comes Facebook, where anyone can broadcast their obviously correct opinion on anything to everyone!

If you have ever been on Facebook, you know what a mess that creates. Battle lines drawn, defriending, cutting people out of wills, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria… Many people smartly stopped talking politics altogether.

I had to be different.

This polarization really got to me in 2012. I couldn’t understand why people had to be off or on, and not a dimmer switch, varying between lightness and darkness. I don’t mean to imply that any position is darker than another, I’m just conveying variance. To address, I created a page on Facebook, The Moderate Party. I think two people joined. I think it’s still there, I haven’t done anything with it in years (maybe I need to return to it). Creating it though taught me how to do so, which has helped out my two businesses in their marketing strategies.

Elections come and go, and polarization subsides, like a regular ebb and flow. I realized I could navigate the waves well, because they were never extreme. Then came Donald Trump.

Trump is, at the very least, an interesting character. He may hold the world record for adjectives hurled his way, positive and negative, if such were tracked. Most, including likely Trump himself, expected Hillary Clinton to be elected in 2016. When that didn’t happen, the polarization went into warp drive.

Here it is, 2020, and I, like others, are faced with a huge decision for this presidential election. I like to look for answers, and opinions, and discussion. Such is hard to find face to face in the COVID-19 environment. I turned to Facebook.

At first, I’d posts questions and links with commentary, often from a conservative source (I am a conservative though like to think I’m open-minded). Often, they’d elicit polarized responses, so I shifted strategy, mainly posting links from mainly centrist (as objective as possible) news sites or calling out the bias if not. I hoped that it would prompt rational discussion.

It did not. Truthfully, some responses were blatantly hateful. No need to go into details, as probably most reading this have experienced similar, just that if you indicated you aligned with a particular position you were instantly labeled to the extreme. “Choose a side” people said. How to choose when you’re trying to have a civil discussion to form opinions that will then inform the decision?

Nothing worked, and my reaction was to step back from Facebook for my mental, spiritual, and physical health. Yes, this whole polarization and lack of common decency to not even try to see another side literally made me ill. I wasn’t sure if I’d leave Facebook completely.

That idea made me angry. I have every right to voice my opinion. I also have every right to defend and protect myself from bullies, even when it’s not the intent. Because those kinds of Facebook post responses are nothing less than bullying.

That’s where I’m at today. I don’t want to lose relationships from years ago, many rekindled through Facebook, but I also don’t want to be bullied because I have opinions and views that others may disagree with. I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do, so in the mean time I “rebooted” (posted Windows Blue Screen of Death, then HAL 9000 and a generic programming background as my profile and banner pictures to signify the reboot and the programming that we have all endured to bring us to this polarized point). Now it’s “The Daily Dog”, a picture of a dog usually from Unsplash. After all, who hates dogs? I’m trying to step back into Facebook politics discussions, but my first attempt had disappointing results. I’ll just leave it at that.

Maybe the loudest win. But that doesn’t mean the silent have changed their mind. In some cases, it likely has strengthened their resolve. Maybe I’ll post about that tomorrow – after I post a Chihuahua for The Daily Dog.

Photo by Richard Brutyo on Unsplash